[ The voice on the message sounds about as strung out, grumpy, and tired as one might be when one is a distinctly introverted person with a mild nicotine habit who has had to speak to people all day, angry people, and has not gone out and had a cigarette.]

I said that I would, so I am, but I think we both know this is a bloody joke. [ An indrawn breath. ] All the same, here it is:

I would like to request that all of the books that were brought here from my world be removed from the ship. Specifically and especially the ones that like to kill people.