bargemods: (Default)
TLV Mods ([personal profile] bargemods) wrote2013-03-05 11:33 pm
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TLV - Graduations & Demotions

GRADUATIONS & DEMOTIONS


Inmate graduation is a vital aspect of the game, and occasionally, warden demotion crops up in play as well. If you're planning to graduate your inmate or demote your warden in the near future, please fill out this short form!

Graduations and demotions are character decisions made at player discretion, but in the rare situation that we find ourselves concerned that a graduation or demotion is premise-breaking, the player will be contacted privately. Once we've read through a comment and confirmed that it doesn't contain anything premise-breaking, we'll reply with a confirmation.

Once a graduation comment has been confirmed, the warden of the graduating inmate should reply to their inmate's comment either confirming that their character will be fulfilling the deal laid out in their application, or - in situations where they changed their mind about their deal during their time in-game - receive a verdict about whether the new deal idea is doable.

GRADUATION



DEMOTION




neverwaitslong: (Default)

[personal profile] neverwaitslong 2022-09-01 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
Player Name: Tri
Character Name: Ulla
Path to Graduation:
When Ulla came on board, she didn't want anything but revenge, and was willing to cause however much collateral damage she deemed necessary to get it. She didn't have anything she wanted from her life past that, and she was perfectly willing to harm innocent people to get at the people who hurt her. She was also a giant mountain of trust issues.

Lark was the first person to get through to her, when he sang a song that reminded her of Roffe and Signy's betrayal.

Warren managed to reach her right from the beginning, finding out the worst of it before he ever read her file. He connected with her musically, he understood betrayal and rage, and he spent two years (counting the one on Flotilla) chipping away at her protective layers. Like Lark, he assured her that she didn't need to give up on revenge entirely in order to graduate.

Her relationship with Taylor in a breach made Ulla realize the extent of her feelings for Signy, and she was hurting enough to summon up a storm on deck; notably, she still wasn't trying to destroy the ship and everyone on it. She didn't break a single pane of glass on the greenhouse, because she likes it. And what talked her down in the end was Warren getting hurt in her defense. However determined she was, and still is, not to wrap herself up around him as tightly as she did around Signy, there was no denying that she cared for him.

She apologized to Taylor for being needlessly cruel, and talked about revenge and the future. She continued being furious whenever Warren got hurt. And eventually she had to give in and fully trust him, like Maxwell and Jacobi had urged her to.

But she still didn't have anything to want besides revenge. She was reluctant to even consider it. Until her month of impotent rage on the Clipper, thinking she'd lost Warren for good. Until he asked her to go with him and she said yes.

She's still figuring out what to want besides him (and her octopus daemon Hjerte, the deal she'll be staying on for), but she wants something good now, and she's also willing to be much more direct in her schemes for revenge, rather than hurting anyone she comes across who seems like they might be useful.

She trusts one person completely, and she's working on extending that to others. She may not offer her heart easily, but when she does, she is intensely loyal. And she has a soft spot for anyone who understands betrayal or feeling like an outsider. There's enough kinship there for Ulla to grow attached, and to be wholeheartedly supportive.

(no subject)

[personal profile] questionsonly - 2022-09-03 18:29 (UTC) - Expand
pharadyne: (Default)

[personal profile] pharadyne 2022-10-21 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
Player Name: Rafe
Character Name: Norton Folgate
Path to Graduation: Norton's path to redemption was basically "learn to have non-backstabbing relationships and be less murdery." The first one just gradually happened by being stuck with the same people for a long period of time and having to deal with relationship ups and downs. He has proper friends, including people whose happiness he cares enough about to set aside his selfishness for them.

Learning to be less murdery had a few stages. A conversation Zhao Yunlan helped him recontextualize how he thought about collateral damage. Instead of "some collateral damage of civilians is fine so long as you get the job done" Yunlan made the point that "collateral damage of civilians means you fucked up somewhere getting the job done." And it stuck. So even though collateral damage might sometimes happen, instead of shrugging it off as an acceptable outcome, he'll put in proper effort to prevent it.

Lots and lots of conversations with Kiryu (and also an attempt to kill Kiryu) addressed Norton's more personal murdery habits and tendency to use murder as a go-to way to solve problems or address any injustice done to him, often in ways that are unproductive, unnecessary, and result in bad outcomes for him and people he cares about. Kiryu helped Norton conceptualize a sort of positive selfishness. Basically, think through consequences better. Put the focus on protecting the things that matter to him, not destroying things. (And sometimes that might mean killing, but not routinely.)

So when Norton decided not to murder Makima, even though it would have been easy to, and he strongly felt she'd wronged him, it was proof that even under strain he thinks through these situations a bit differently now.

Norton will be staying on as a warden. He's still sharp, still petty, still selfish, but very anti-senseless violence (while being all for violence that makes sense). If an inmate needs to learn consequences, Norton will creatively give them. He'll also probably be a good match for inmates who act out from a sense of rage at injustice or an outsider status. Or for people who need to learn to tone down their "ends justify the means" impulses.

(no subject)

[personal profile] lone_horse - 2022-10-23 04:51 (UTC) - Expand
dark_lady_sariss: (Default)

Sariss - Graduation

[personal profile] dark_lady_sariss 2022-10-23 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Player Name: C
Character Name: Sariss
Path to Graduation:

When Sariss came aboard, she was powered by tightly-controlled rage, like water forced through a high-pressure hose. She was also untrusting, deeply suspicious, and withdrawn. Her time on the Barge has granted her things she'd never known or understood: namely, people who cared about her. People she could talk to, like Demona, who understood the sort of life she had led. Tiffany, who gave her friendship easily and openly and taught her that there were people who wouldn't exploit her. Raith, who taught her that trust was not naivete, but a sort of faith. And Makima, who showed her love for the first time in her life.

With time, the rage that powered her began to lose some of its strength, with better things replacing it - and her understanding grew. But the real catharsis was on the Galley, learning to do something she hadn't before - make a sacrifice for others. In doing so, she used up - gave up - the rage and anger that had been at her core. It is being replaced, in her returned state, with what remained: love, and caring for others.

She's now essentially a Grey Jedi: not bound by the strictures the Jedi would be, but no longer relying exclusively on darkness and negative emotions to power herself and survive. She's found bigger things than herself to fight for, now.
perfectly_average: (285)

[personal profile] perfectly_average 2022-11-08 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Player Name: Aeacus
Character Name: Jamil Viper
Path to Graduation:
Moments of Increasing Significance

  • x, IC Intro, (Early May)
  • "Meeting" Azul
  • Then he discovers punching Azul doesn't feel nearly as nice as he'd hoped it would.
  • x, Meeting Yunlan, and that sure was some trolling he fell for (Late May)
  • x, Start of Bonding With Trixie (Lay May)

  • x, Sudden Gentleness From Azul, which throws Jamil off. (Early June)
  • x, Start of Bonding With Kyoko, which surprises him... (Early June)
  • x, More bonding With Trixie, which solidifies that she's someone he enjoys being around. (Early June)
  • x, Start of bonding With Yunlan, which is another surprise for him to think on later. (Early June)
  • x, All of this surprise bonding stuff is interrupted by his being saved by Azul! It felt... weird. Very weird. And is the first moment he's left genuinely hating how off-balance he feels in this place. (Early June)
  • x, He realizes he doesn't like the thought of Trixie getting hurt... so he makes a point of stopping her from lashing out anymore at Sephiroth. Despite the selfishness of his reasons, Trixie's reaction and their talk afterward has him realizing he might be starting to genuinely care about her. (Early June)
  • x, Jamil finds out what happened to Trixie, and then he proceeds to try heading off to do something stupid and potentially murdery. Azul decides to kiss him as a distraction, and it winds up working. Thanks, Sephiroth, for accidentally playing matchmaker. You're a bro.
  • x, Then Jamil discovers what being fretted over by multiple people feels like, and he made a point of reaching out to Trixie and Sweeney - the first being to check up on her, and the latter being to properly thank him. Also, he learns Rags' story, and that has him tentatively thinking of him as a friend. (Late June)

  • x, Jamil makes a point of asking Yunlan to give Azul a saltwater pool; it's something that would make Azul happier. Despite using the excuse (at himself) that Azul being happier would mean less stress for himself, he found himself happy seeing how Azul felt over it. (Early July)
  • x, Watching Azul struggling with a warden, Jamil realizes he never wants a warden. He realizes how scared he is of having the full control over someone learning his past taken away. This winds up being a good thing, later. (Late July)
  • All the while, he's reflecting over Taylor's Graduation, along comes Trixie's. Jamil struggles with admitting to himself that he felt pretty angry over how he learned Rags was leaving, and over how quickly Rags just left them all. He learned a lot from these two incidents - primarily that friendships are fragile things. For a while, this realization did him no good. (Late July)
  • x, All the changes, all the negative thoughts, all the looming danger... Unsurprisingly, he snaps. Surprisingly, it's at Hunter; he picked him because they hadn't been talking much, however. He nearly Overblots, but is saved by Azul. (Late July)
  • x, Apologizing to Hunter is a huge deal, for him. It isn't for the sake of softening things between them, but for the sake of seeking help with something that would benefit everyone. No more Overblot risks, letting Hunter have the option of helping with that. Out of everything up to this point, it's possibly the closest thing to a selfless decision he's made. It's certainly the most genuinely mature one. (Late July)
  • x, While asking Yunlan to have his magic turned off possibly seemed like something with good intentions behind it, this is a moment of backsliding hard. Backsliding beyond the starting point, really. This is the first time he makes a decision to simply try running from the problem. He has no intention of trying to learn anything else. He's quietly considering just easing into the life of a regular human - no more risk of Overblot, no more risk of losing his mind on people. An easy fix, right? (Late July)

  • x, The backsliding just doesn't stop, either. He uses mind control to unlife some people, and he doesn't feel anything towards that. He's encouraged by Kirei to just keep on proceeding down this path. (Early August)
  • x, Just one day later, he Overblots and attempts more murder. It's a quick battle, but it's incredibly rough on his mind and body. He falls hard into depression and apathy. (Early August)
  • x, Tiernan makes use of the blotstone that had been left behind from his Overblot... and that genuinely gets under Jamil's skin, proving to be just the thing to snap him out of his moping. (Late August)
  • x, During Vibe Check, however, he gets into some trouble... And loses all of his memories of Kalim al Asim - including all the moments during which he was so much as thinking about him. This leads him to forget the moment he'd forced those guys to, ah... unlife, which meant he was no longer anticipating revenge. (Late August)
  • During this time, Jamil wound up experiencing a period of time without his thoughts drifting back to Kalim. While there were gaps in his memories that never went away, his tendency to fixate led to him focusing on Azul, instead. Azul became his coping mechanism, his One Person that had been there from the start. It wasn't a healthy form of coping, but this is what leads to the development near the start of next month. (Late August)
  • And, when that revenge for earlier in the month came, he was easily killed. Which saw the start of September bringing death tolling... (End of August)

  • x, Jamil barely had time to mentally adjust to feeling sick and vulnerable, all over again. He was doing horribly, but he still wanted to try dragging Azul away from Overblot. They'd suffered enough, he felt. He didn't want Azul having to feel what he was feeling - a first, nearly 100% selfless moment. (Start of September)
  • x, When he comes to, finding himself underwater (how could he breathe???) and everyone fighting Azul, he nearly freaked out. But, thankfully, he was too out of it and feverish to properly do so; it likely would have helped Azul worsen. Fortunately, he manages to prove to Azul - and himself - that he wouldn't just run off, when the going gets tough. He'll stay there, as long as needed. They have each other, and Jamil's discovered what actual loyalty feels like. (Start of September)
  • x, Jamil demonstrates an ability to keep a boundary up without total conflict. He realizes that he never has to talk about something that he's not ready to talk about, no matter who's initiating the conversation or asking the question. (Start of September)
  • x, He reaches out to Sephiroth, challenging him to a fight... (Early September)
  • x, Then his "birthday" comes, and this is the biggest turning point of his development. He actively notes that this must be what happiness and being respected feels like. He decides that this is the kind of feeling he'd rather chase, in life... These are the kinds of people he'd rather keep. This is the kind of realization he'd like to try giving another inmate, one day. (Early September)
  • x, That fight he was going to have with Sephiroth? He decided... why a fight? Why not a Paintball match, instead. If he can vent his anger at Sephiroth this way, while giving them both a game that they might enjoy? Wouldn't that be better than trying to kill a guy who'll just come back anyway?

    He's sure he'll never stop being pissed at Sephiroth - hell, he might never stop hating him for what he did. But, in the end, he will have chosen something other than outright revenge. He'll have proven to himself that he's capable of far more creative outlets, when it comes to his anger problems and desires for vengeance. (September)
  • x, Unfortunately, by this point, there is still one more thing for him to work on... Handling guilt! He made the decision to make a Statement, out of fear that he'll ever forget how it felt to Overblot. He doesn't want to risk losing that sense of disgust and regret. He doesn't want to forget the look in Azul's eyes, or the sound of Yunlan's voice when he learned about it. Or the way Trixie was when she saw him the first time, upon their return to the Barge. (September)

  • x, Which is precisely what the next big event forces him onto a path for. The injuries that represent buried pain and other negative feelings became motivation for him to start talking again - and even more, than last time. He manages to fully explain himself to Yunlan, in an attempt to make it clear just why he reacted the way he did over feeling treated like a child. They came to an understanding, and Jamil agreed to try harder at accepting help from others. He even lets Misty stitch his neck up, during this thing, so that he'll be able to properly open up about those injuries. (October)
  • x, Later on, he accepts help from Xie Lian - someone he barely knows. It's a small request, but it's a small request that comes with a very large amount of effort behind it. (October)
  • x, With Akira, it was a different kind of progress. He accepted the trade because he genuinely wanted to learn more about this other young man, while helping him. He wanted to... see what it might feel like to try some wardening techniques of his own, but in a subtle way. He realizes around this point that he actually likes coaxing someone to open up and explain their story. It's the first moment he's hit with the thought that he genuinely does want to become a warden. (October)
  • x, Jamil finally sets his mind to trying to get all of his powers back, so he can actually have a chance to prove to himself (and the Admiral) that he's learned a lot. He's embraced that he's ready to try... but then Crozier tells him he believes he's already close to graduating. Jamil realizes he's kind of scared, actually, of returning home. He questions, too, if he's really earned a redemption... (October)

  • x, Around this point, he's had time to reflect on the idea of graduating and returning home, and he's come to terms with it all. He isn't ready to return home, but he doesn't need to be - that isn't part of redeeming himself, necessarily. So he gives approaching Sephiroth a try, to see if he's ready to handle even the more problematic inmates. To maybe try helping even one that he still hates, and to see how he handles so much as interacting with someone he once wanted to kill. He does well. (November)
  • Which brings us to the current time, where he's come to finally understand that his path to graduation wasn't about something as extreme as overwriting the worst parts of his personality. It wasn't about becoming a "good person", but about learning healthier ways to cope with feeling forced into an inferior role. He learned that he can actually work towards a life that will make him happier, and that it isn't selfish to wish for happiness for himself. It's human, and it's okay to be human. It's okay to be flawed, and messed up, and in need of feeling loved by his own parents.

    Jamil has many friends, many people he considers family. He has a boyfriend, a crush, and a list of plans for his future. There's a desire to build that future - not just for himself, but for Azul Ashengrotto. He wishes to pay everything forward; yeah, part of it is for his image, but most of it is for the sake of possibly helping anyone else who's feeling the way he used to.

    He's decided to take on the role of a warden. He's still unsure exactly what kind of warden he'll be, but he knows he will (at the very least) be a stubborn one. Nobody should ever feel backed into a corner with no escape; part of his personal, unspoken continued path to redemption will be guiding anyone else he can away from that mindset.
  • Edited 2022-11-08 15:24 (UTC)

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] goingtobeunwell - 2022-11-08 23:27 (UTC) - Expand
    mycitynow: (heh I'm the coolest)

    [personal profile] mycitynow 2022-11-09 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Kates
    Character Name: Kyoko Sakura
    Path to Graduation: Congratulations, Kyoko: you learned how to trust people!

    So much of her problems were wrapped around the fact that she didn't trust anybody, that she felt like all of her problems had to be solved by herself, like she couldn't trust anybody. But slowly, Kyoko found herself trusting people and actually making friends. She was able to confide in Crozier, Jamil, Nathaniel, Zack, and others about her past, her upbringing, and what happened as a magical girl. Perhaps the biggest moment is when she stepped in to help fight Azul during his overblot: she didn't realize it at the time, but the main reason she stepped in was that her friends were in danger.

    And about being a magical girl: Kyoko learned that just because you have this power, you don't need to use it for everything. She had an attitude that was very much 'when all you have is a hammer, all you see are nails' with regards to her power. She thought she had to use it to be the most powerful. But instead, Kyoko learned that it was fine being weaker, it was fine not using her power, if it means that she could keep her friends safe.

    Her last step was to stop picking fights. And after one particularly nasty fight with Arthur and one particularly important talking-to from Zack, Kyoko actually of her own accord, apologized for her fuck-up and for her picking a fight. Good on you, girl! You've acknowledged that fighting and trying to 'win' the argument isn't the best strategy.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] colorofthesky - 2022-11-09 03:53 (UTC) - Expand
    power_of_yes: (Default)

    [personal profile] power_of_yes 2022-11-12 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Kota
    Character Name: John Seed
    Path to Graduation: John isn’t suddenly a good person now and he isn’t perfect, but he is a man who can set his own morals. He knows how to make his own family and fill it with people who are better influences. He worked to keep his Wrath under control and, while it still plagues him, he knows how to make his own choices that don’t lead to violence. He understands consent and though he can never atone for what he did or how he hurt people, he does regret the lengths he went to. He recognizes the influence his brother has had on him and does not want to repeat that mistake for anything in the world. He knows that he can’t hurt other people and that it doesn’t fill any sort of void for him. He’s still a broken man, but graduation for John is simply the beginning of the healing he can do on his own.

    Over the course of the year, Iris taught him that people could actually care about him. That caring for him can be something that isn't terrifying or manipulative but genuine, which means that his own feelings on people could be genuine. He will always struggle with not putting on that mask as a defensive measure, but he learned it's possible to be real. He struggled with his faith, but Warren and Kyoko (and to some extend Kirei) helped him reignite his passion in a good way and challenge the teachings he had been given. He was given direction and purpose and will be using that to drive the rest of his life.

    (no subject)

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    [personal profile] routemistress - 2022-12-14 14:03 (UTC) - Expand
    dog_lover: (my bite)

    [personal profile] dog_lover 2022-11-26 08:22 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Danii
    Character Name: Makima
    Path to Graduation: Makima came to the barge a conflicted creature. She was angry about her death, angry about her failure, but she was also despondent and lost and very much had given up on finding a place for herself in any world. A few key relationships that succeeded, and some that failed, really helped her to figure out the problems with her original plans and her original goals, as well as how she can be what she is, still be the devil of control and conquest, without being someone who makes the whole planet afraid of her.

    Her relationship with Sariss started during a breach and it gave her a strange situation where a relationship began without being subject to the hierarchy that Makima continually tripped herself up with (ranking people as better or less than and determining how to treat them that way) and that continued all throughout her time. It managed to be a steady, loving, and intensely private between them affair that helped Makima see people more clearly and stop ranking them because it made her lose out.

    Her relationship with Sweeney helped teach her that she could make friends with, find support, and even love someone who was like her, and the acceptance of her non-human nature without the problem of threat, fear, or wanting to eat one another really helped her get the kinship that she's always wanted, as well as a lot of physical affection that she was missing from her dogs (who she would control to do that) and she found it was better when it was just given freely.

    A small mention for Dorian who showed her to use her control and conquest related powers as well as her urges in that direction for consensual BDSM. Thank you, Halloween party!

    Then there were the failures, her attempts at manipulation: Daniel, Tim, and Norton. Each one taught her something important about how tricking the system and manipulating people is harmful. Daniel was betrayed that a bond he'd thought they'd built was fake. Tim was upset that she'd put things in his head. Norton was upset that she never gave him the chance to like her properly, that she 'cheated'. They all showed her different facets of how her use of her powers was damaging to people.

    A mixed result came with her relationship with B, who only found out later what she was and what she could do. The conflicts and difficulties she had with him, and her willingness to keep trying to make something work and to accommodate him, showed her the difference between trying for appearances and actually trying. When B offered to protect her from the three above after she admitted what she'd done, she realized that someone (a human being, even one who was scared of her and she knew it) could still care about her and want to help her and that these things can be a mix and not so extreme. He also proved to her that humans could do things beyond trying to hurt her and trying to use her even when they WERE scared. They didn't end up friends, exactly, but he helped her immensely.

    One of the big lessons she had to learn was not treating her feelings and wants and emotions as 'logic' and that her plans that were for personal gain were really for 'everyone's good' even though no, they really weren't. She got a small microcosm of this in her murder of Doug Eiffel, an act done out of her own frustration and anger at Sariss's apparent permanent death; for all of the calculation and sneakiness involved, she did it out of rage and even she could admit afterwards that she hadn't done it for any other reason than her own satisfaction. She even eventually apologized to Doug about it.

    She also learned how to forgive, given what happened with John Seed and Iris. Iris had originally blamed her for John Seed's murder of Trixie but after Iris got to hear more from John about what really happened, Iris apologized and Makima was able to see past her hurt and pain to actually accept and move forward. Trixie helped as well, by reaching out a hand and offering her friendship despite hearing about how Makima had fucked up with some people. That simple acceptance meant a lot.

    The biggest hole in her life, though, was the love of a mother, funny enough. Poochita says in the very last issue of volume 1 that the only thing Makima really ever wanted was to be loved like a family member and getting Nadja as her warden was absolutely perfect. Nadja's boundless love and support and her constant willingness to give up blood or strength or time or energy in shows of unconditional motherly love gave her the thing she was actually craving that her plans and schemes never actually would have delivered.

    Then during the Bang! breach, she enjoyed having a family to look out for, and got to get back in touch with her love of being a boss and running things, and this time it was channeled in a much healthier way. It was just nice and she could use it to look out for people, bring people in, create an environment she liked and wanted in a small and reasonable fashion.

    Last but not least, she made the decision to actively eschew her universe, eschew any kind of revenge or forcing herself back into her own universe and decided to go home with someone else. That last bit was small but... important.

    Ultimately, she figured out how to be herself in a healthy, not abusive manner and she figured out that her original goals and her original needs were warped by her own perceptions and desperation. All in all, not too bad for one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
    Edited 2022-11-26 08:25 (UTC)

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] shamebat - 2022-12-08 05:35 (UTC) - Expand
    choosetoforget: (Default)

    [personal profile] choosetoforget 2022-12-11 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Kota
    Character Name: Daniel
    Path to Graduation: When Daniel started, he was a man who had taken zero responsibility for what he had done and would rather erase his entire memory than face what he had done. And he continuously make that choice - to forget. To pretend that he was a good person who had simply been manipulated. However, after causing harm to people he loved (through Jon's domains and then to Crozier in Flotilla), he began to realize that his attitude of "I'm a good person" wasn't actually a correct one. He was able to admit that he had done terrible things and he was no better or worse than the people he had claimed to hurt.

    After realizing what Alexander had done to him, how deep the lies had gone, Daniel retreated a bit more into his own delusions that he had been manipulated and that he was not at fault. Fortunately, he was surrounded by people who kept him accountable, even though he made some really shitty choices. He was unable to lie without people seeing it, and he could be aware of his own lies.

    On the Galley, he was given the role of Advocate, and really began to question whether or not that was the right choice. And after, he was convinced that it wasn't. He began to turn a corner and asked for his memories to be returned. That was the beginning for him. He was able to really face what he had done without the option to go back. Once he had them all, the final piece was simply trying to figure out what to do with it. What he could do. He had a few conversations with his friends that helped him make his decision.

    He's going to stay on for a short time and not leave right away. Give himself time to prepare. While he doesn't know if he'd make a good warden, he really does have the capacity to help people stay responsible for their mistakes and guide them through what they can and can't do.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] epistemological - 2022-12-12 17:40 (UTC) - Expand
    skitter: (Khepri - Mind)

    [personal profile] skitter 2022-12-21 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Hats
    Character Name: Taylor
    Path to Demotion:

    Taylor is coming back to the Barge still a warden after her canon update, after she spent her humanity to save not only her universe, but many. But the last vestiges are going out like a dying candle as she arrives. Unable to tell that she is safe, she takes control of as many people as she can, meaning to take them with her, willing to cost them their lives and chances if it means she can continue to protect her world, even though she no longer needs to.

    She's gone back along the path she took to graduation, back into the obligation to responsibility. (She'd especially be a bad warden for her inmate right now, as Hilbert needs to internalize the acceptable and unacceptable costs of action) Her victory over Scion will "prove" to her that she was wrong to think she could choose how she acted. She'll have to relearn that lesson again.
    reformedsinner: (Default)

    [personal profile] reformedsinner 2022-12-29 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Kira
    Character Name: Cho Gonou
    Path to Graduation: When Gonou arrived on the barge, he was a traumatized pile of identity and attachment issues in denial about his anger towards the world and generally unable to process (or, often, even comprehend) his own emotional responses.

    Through the relationships he's formed on the Barge and the ways in which he's been forced to engage with his feelings about his nonhuman identity and his feelings about committing, experiencing and seeing his friends experience violence, he's been able to come to terms with the majority of his toxic traits, understand his own emotions and express those emotions honestly to others.

    Shortly after his arrival, he got involved in a conflict with Misty Quigley where her passive-aggressive approach (accusing him of ulterior motives, making vague threats, interfering with the janitorial work he was doing in petty ways) triggered him to lash out with overwhelming murderous force, after which he attempted to self-punish by interpreting the restrictions his warden placed on him in the most punitive way he could, while simultaneously stubbornly refusing to engage with Misty or with the situation itself.

    Since then, he's developed considerably more sense of security and self-control, as well as learning how to engage emotionally with people and situations that he experiences as threatening. Beginning with his apology to Misty -- which he didn't feel ready to extend until several months after the attack -- he's been learning to handle emotionally threatening experiences in a productive way. He explained his feelings over a punishment Jon Sims chose for his inmate to Jon in a follow-up conversation after he withdrew from the first one. With the encouragement of his warden Xie Lian, he's even reached out himself to bring up issues that frighten him, even if he still is only really able to engage in this kind of openness with his close friends.

    Although he initially attacked the person he thought was responsible for Eiffel's death, when the person who was actually responsible confessed to him, he was able to handle it calmly, express his upset to her, process it in a conversation with his warden and later speak to Eiffel about his feelings and the fact that Eiffel also kept the secret of who was responsible for his murder.

    In addition to learning how to express and process his negative emotions through peaceful means, he's been striving to improve his physical regulation and disconnect his ability to do violence from the guilt and trauma associated with fighting to rescue Kanan and slaughtering hundreds of armed and unarmed people in the process. He fought in Flint's mutiny on the Galley, and the multiple losses he experienced and blamed himself for there forced him to ask himself some hard questions about his own responsibility for things he fought for but couldn't achieve. Flint's firm denial that Gonou was responsible for his death, once they were back on the Barge, helped him think about whether he could really blame himself for Kanan's, as did Xie Lian's equally firm denial of Gonou's responsibility for his death -- despite Gonou's active assistance with the plan that killed him. Xie Lian has also been sparring with Gonou and teaching him a variety of new weapons, spiritual techniques and martial arts forms, helping to rebuild the enjoyment he found in fighting and reinforce his conscious control over his choices around fighting.

    His experiences on the Galley also forced him to begin coming to terms with his nonhuman nature. Arriving there without his limiters and being forced to face his youkai features for the first time in the mirrored wall of a cell provoked a nervous breakdown and self-harming violence as he punched the mirror in. He struggled with admitting his identity and explaining the changes in his appearance. Jedao's acceptance of his nonhuman form (and the revelation that Jedao also wasn't human) helped him accept it, and after he was blinded, the occasional ability to use his youkai powers to sense his surroundings or speed his own healing were literal lifesavers on more than one occasion.

    It also helped that, without his sight, he couldn't see the differences in his body, allowing him to feel more at peace with those changes. He still needs to remove his limiters to use his powers, as he hasn't asked Xie Lian to request the full release of his abilities, but this has given him multiple opportunities to remove his limiters for positive reasons, such as to heal people or to help himself heal more quickly. The positive associations he's beginning to build with his youkai appearance aren't enough to make him at ease with it, but he's accepted it as a part of himself and he's comfortable interacting with people with his limiters off. He's even comfortable with platonic intimacy when he has his limiters off (cuddling, embracing, pats on the head, etc.) -- something he wasn't comfortable with under any circumstances when he arrived on board.

    His romantic relationship with Jedao has also played an important role in his graduation. He struggled, earlier in their relationship, with comparisons between Jedao and Kanan and questions about whether he was worthy of being loved or capable of loving someone else, especially since Jedao, unlike Kanan, had no non-romantic ties binding him to Gonou -- and therefore Gonou had to trust that he was loved because of who he was as a person, and not because they were soulmates, two halves of the same person, or any other romantic fantasy about irreplacability or mystical connections. Although this has been taking a while to sink in, he is beginning to believe it, and thus believe that he is both capable of love and capable of being loved. This belief is beginning to spread to relationships outside of his romantic one, too; he's able to admit his affection to other friends such as Daniel and Eiffel, to discuss the ways in which past wrongdoing don't necessarily define one's identity with Natalie, and to accept and trust Xie Lian's affection for him.

    Remembering his behavior and beliefs about himself as "Cho Hakkai" during the time-warp flood is going to provide the final push to let him believe just how much he has changed and improved. Hakkai, despite being almost five years older than Gonou is, is out of touch with and continues to repress his anger until it explodes in violence; believes himself incapable of love and unworthy of being loved; and fails to value his own life as a result of unresolved guilt and self-hatred. Gonou's active rejection of Hakkai's beliefs about himself will help fuel the confidence he needs in his own ability to make a positive difference for himself and others.

    He's going to stay on as a warden after graduation, although he's going to visit Xie Lian's home world with him first to meet his friends and bid him a fond farewell (and possibly also to threaten Xie Lian's friends into treating him right.) As a warden, he's going to take some time finding his feet, but will likely have an approach of fierce loyalty to his inmate coupled with high expectations, a fair amount of philosophical discussions, a willingness to firmly control any harmful behavior and a well hidden playful streak. Inmates who take themselves too seriously may find themselves being made fun of.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] riseunparalleled - 2023-01-01 18:42 (UTC) - Expand
    badbutsad: (did I do good?)

    [personal profile] badbutsad 2023-01-01 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Maniette
    Character Name: Hunter
    Path to Graduation: When Hunter arrived on the Barge it was immediately after his death in the line of duty for Emperor Belos, a figure who had been something like deified in Hunter's mind, and the core of his path on the Barge - to realise that the man was abusive and cruel, not only to him but others as well, and that Hunter himself was fully capable of living outside of Belos's influence, without being under constant threat of life and limb in the man's shadow, and that accepting help in doing so doesn't make him weak.

    This... got off to a rocky start. One of the very first things Hunter did was immediately fall into line beneath Dracula, seeing the vampire as equivalent to Belos in terms of power and obedience; a state that Dracula immediately took massive umbrage to, and spent the rest of Hunter's time on the Barge attempting to mitigate it with, initially, limited success.

    Despite his best efforts to remain an aloof and independent force, this was quickly and routinely interrupted by two main factors: the other kids on board, Rags and Taylor, doggedly making friends with Hunter despite the way he bristled and railed against it (and even Hickey getting in on it); and his reliance on then-temporary warden Dracula for his magical needs, which quickly turned into mentorship under him in other forms of magic; and as minor as it seems, both small things - people his own age to interact with, and magic outside of the coven system that he was encouraged to pursue - were extremely important first steps to open him up to the rest of his growth.

    It was during the VIP flood in May '22 that Emperor Belos arrived in his stead, and Dracula, Trevor, Adrian and Taylor in particular were finally able to see where all of Hunter's more damaging ideas came from, through the way Belos spoke of and treated his nephew; but Dracula was so incensed by Belos's existence, after how much he'd been trying to teach Hunter despite the mental blocks Belos put on him, that he attacked Belos outright and learned the truth about what Hunter is - a Grimwalker, an easily expended toy to Belos, and despite how much he despises the man, Dracula didn't reveal this information to Hunter just yet.

    One of the most important things to come out of Hunter's time on the Barge, though, was the idea that he was inherently worthy of love, and that it wasn't something he had to prove himself to receive: basic kindness, in fact, that he railed against at every turn; but Adrian having to explain it as a general concept after he died the first time, Dracula explaining to him that he can choose to be someone who allows himself that sort of affection, people checking in on him constantly to see how he was doing eventually started hammering in that it was an okay thing to care about other people, and to let them care about him.

    The final nudge came during the most recent flood, where he jumped ahead to a point where he actually understands what Belos had done to him - seeing how his future self had been possessed and killed by Belos, as well as the memories of Belos attempting to do so multiple times between his arrival on the Barge; and the point he was sent to cleared up a lot of the lingering edges of denial he had for the treatment he was subject to at his uncle's hands. While it was an abrupt jump from still having lingering doubts about Belos to that being fully cleared up, he finally feels confident that he knows he can do it, and that he'll have support when he does - both at home, with the friends and family he's made there, and on the Barge with Dracula, who has fully adopted him as his son now, and who Hunter finally sees as a proper father figure for him.
    notwhoiwas: (Default)

    [personal profile] notwhoiwas 2023-02-07 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Sceadu
    Character Name: Andred
    Path to Graduation: Andred arrived to the Barge at the tail end of an arc in which he had - after managing at the very last minute to find the will to Do The Right Thing - promptly been killed out of hand by what turned out to be extremely unfortunate coincidences and a very nasty case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Needless to say, this left him more than a little adrift, and between that and being very much uncertain as too what he should do with himself he spent a good deal of his time on the Barge not really knowing how to change or if he should. And while having been paired with Jean Gray did help somewhat (if only in the fact that he had at least one person who understood having concerns about one's identity in the same way) a not insignificant amount of that progress was undone with Jean's sudden disappearance from the Barge.

    At this point most of his progress slowed to a crawl, with the most important changeg of note being his slow acknowledgement of the fact that he might not want to return to Gallifrey, and there was no one there he might be inclined to return for. On the other hand, he still had no idea of who he should properly consider himself, nor any sense of a way forward.

    He still does not, really, know who he might be, in the long run. But over the last few months, two very pointed conversations with his temp wardens (Kepler and Norton respectively) have provided a very forceful push as well as some sharp reminders that if he's not going back to Gallifrey what does it matter what anyone there thinks of him. Enough to convince him that while he might not know his path or who he will be he is more than capable of finding out, the same as anyone else. And with his recent decision to take up Kiryu's offer of finding a place on another world he is ready to take that step. Not because he knows who he is and what he means to do, but because he is - once more - willing to find that path forward.
    cephalopunk: (pic#15857219)

    [personal profile] cephalopunk 2023-03-15 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Rui
    Character Name: Azul Ashengrotto
    Path to Graduation: When Azul Ashengrotto first came to the Barge, he was a horribly insecure and paranoid kid that hid behind a veneer of niceties and salesperson smiles. He was extremely suspicious of even the kindest souls, and had every intention to game the system to graduation while building a "good reputation" among the residents to take advantage of when the time came.

    That rapidly changed as his and Jamil's relationship developed, and he met people who went out of their way to do things for him and check after him. The very, very tiny circle of people he cared about on the ship, composing of just him and Jamil, started to very tentatively grow, even if Azul didn't want to admit it himself.

    The Brigantine was a major shifting point for him. Though initially it had Jamil and Azul backsliding and giving in to their darker urges, they also met Jecht and Tiernan, who cared for and protected them in some of their most vulnerable moments. Azul became especially attached to Jecht, who quickly became like a father-figure. It was here he understood for the first time that not all people sought to take advantage of others the first chance they got, and between that and Jamil, he slowly began to relearn how to trust.

    The loss of Jecht and Tiernan via their ejection from The Brigantine, coupled with Jamil's death, pushed Azul over the edge and caused him to have a fantastic magical emotional breakdown ala Overblot. Once again, his heart was touched by the kindness and forgiveness of others.

    From this point on, he began to cultivate real, genuine relationships outside of just his boyfriend, Jamil. The Infimary team was not just a workplace, but began to feel like a small, tight-knit group. He finally decided to trust Xie Lian, which developed into one of his closest and most cherished relationships. He learned to trust Jamil fully and without fear. As security and warmth grew in his life, Azul's need to hide behind a facade and use others to his benefits faded.

    All this development culminated in his approach of Idia Shroud, an acquaintance from home. He recognized the pain within Idia, and instead of seeking to use his vulnerability as he would have been tempted to do before, he selflessly offered himself as an outlet for Idia's rage. It's a truly generous act to which there was no real benefit to Azul; in fact, he may have only suffered for it. He had only done it with the knowledge that allowing Idia to vent some of his pain onto one of the people who had upended his life (or at least, a version of them) might help bring some relief.

    Also important to note that due to his development, he could've easily taken advantage of the fact that the designation-swapping flood gave him authority over the Infirmary as well as over other wardens. Considering he has felt wronged by some wardens in the past, he could have used this as a chance for revenge, or at least to give himself some particular benefits. However, he instead properly used his role to help the Infirmary continue work as normal and tried to mitigate the chaos rather than contribute to it.

    To be certain, in no way is Azul fully reformed; he still sees the system as something of a game, though his opinions of the Admiral have softened from what they initially were. While his main goal of being a Warden would be for the "deal" as the end prize, he's undoubtedly become softer towards people in general. He has even offered help here and there, unprompted and without strings attached. His mentality around incremental progress and self-improvement will undoubtedly prove invaluable to the struggling Inmate, and his being tasked with the guidance of an Inmate will inevitably help him continue to grow and mature as well.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] never_francesca - 2023-03-29 01:50 (UTC) - Expand
    laszlo: (Default)

    [personal profile] laszlo 2023-03-26 12:04 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Cala
    Character Name: Laszlo Cravensworth
    Path to Graduation:

    In the two and a half years he's been on the Barge, most of the changes in Laszlo's behavior have been enacted solely to accommodate the setting, in that if he were to return home (or leave the ship for a port), he'd go right back to feeding from (and in many cases murdering) humans.

    In the recent breach however, he truly found out what it was like to be a victim of being fed upon in a terrible way, which would have turned him into a monster eventually, as opposed to when Nadja first fed on him and made him into a vampire (which was a good thing in his opinion, not seeing or caring if he were a monster to others). This thread with his warden was especially helpful in clarifying things for him.

    Going forward, he will not be murdering anyone else, confining his feeding to blood bags, wild animals and willing human donors.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] everswirlingtoilet - 2023-03-28 14:31 (UTC) - Expand
    damesuccubus: (temptress)

    [personal profile] damesuccubus 2023-06-19 03:12 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: gels
    Character Name: Petronilla de Vilers
    Path to Graduation:

    Petronilla's changed from a insane person with homicidal tendencies to a...mostly unstable person who is vain and selfish enough to kill, but only if someone really, really pisses her off. It's a big leap!

    Working with Ed gave her firm consequences and someone to actually rely on, who wouldn't abandon her when things got tough. She slowly learned empathy through him, and her possessive natured softened. Going through the various breaches helped her see what her life could have been without all the bitterness and jealousy. She learned how to actually make and keep friends, i.e. Kirei, Misty, Hancock, Gonou -- even if these friendships initially started with her own interests in mind, she came to actually care for them. And Hancock helped encourage her to accept her past and find a new path.

    Part of her graduation is the acknowledgement that she's not suitable to stay on the Barge as a warden. She'll really never be warden material, but she's definitely improved enough to graduate!

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] kingofthezombieslook - 2023-06-19 16:20 (UTC) - Expand
    conning: (NealC 011)

    [personal profile] conning 2023-06-28 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Jae
    Character Name: Neal Caffrey
    Path to Graduation:

    Neal arrived on board heartbroken, betrayed, and not trusting anybody, willing to do just about anything to make people happy and put some kind of personal identity back together based around the things it's always been based around: his skills and usefulness. Unfortunately, his skills on the Barge are 90% irrelevant. He found out that Malcolm, his permanently assigned warden, would be given a file containing his life's details, and he lashed out, hating the violation of privacy and afraid to have himself exposed and vulnerable in that way. Malcolm gave Neal his file having only read the first couple of pages, telling Neal he could give it back when he was ready to trust Malcolm.

    Things Happened, including a flood that forced a degree of emotional intimacy he didn't want to give. He went into something of a tailspin, jumping overboard right before a port and living a brief time as a single dad, which both messed him up and helped him realize that looking for a way out through that kind of escape was pointless and did more harm than good.

    Later, he tried to kiss his warden, enamored by Malcolm's consistent kindness and concern for him. Malcolm very gently turned him down which was massively embarrassing, but he pretended it was fine and carried on and definitely did not fall more in love as they kept talking and Malcolm continued to respect his privacy and show genuine concern for his wellbeing. ...He did, he definitely did. Malcolm offered Neal his deal with warden upon graduation, and Neal pretty much despaired of the possibility, because he'd spent his entire life trying to figure out how to be "better" and didn't know what else to try.

    Somewhere in all of this, the gradumotion flood flipped the position of wardens and inmates, and Neal's fear and anxiety got borderline crippling as people who probably shouldn't have got their powers back and he was freshly reminded of just how trapped and vulnerable he was. Lestat coaxed Neal to his cabin and fed on him which, as per canon, is euphoric, and he happily numbed himself to the worry for the rest of the flood, until Lestat turned him and he wandered off to try and find someone to eat while Lestat was out getting him dinner. His warden and his friends worried that Lestat had somehow brainwashed him, ignoring Neal's insistence that he was the one who chose to stay and actually planting the seed of frustration that would help push him toward graduation.

    He continued to believe he didn't have a chance, while simultaneously the people around him lovingly undermined his autonomy and built that frustration up. A canon update and his warden getting into a relationship with another inmate pushed him into snapping at Malcolm and they fought, uh, badly, and Neal was convinced he'd destroyed their relationship, but Malcolm kept trying. Which wasn't at all what he'd expected to happen. When Malcolm was injured by Lestat during another flood, Neal defended Lestat to the wardens whose ideas around consequences felt out of proportion to him regarding that particular crime, even though he was petrified that the wardens--most of whom were his friends--would write him off. They didn't. Again. Which, again, was weird. But it also prompted him to think for the first time about how he would act as a warden, which shifted the idea of graduation from impossible to necessary.

    Shortly thereafter, he got murdered, and in trying to help calm things down was insulted and dismissed by the warden of the inmate who killed him. Instead of just taking it, like he would have once, he messaged the warden again after the flood to demand to know why he talked to a murder victim like that. Said warden doubled down on being an asshole, so Neal put him on blast on the network and tangled with several wardens around the issue of violence, enforcement, and transparency on board. Having found out he could, he went to the Admiral, broaching the idea of reforms around warden behavior.

    He then picked up his file from his room, went to Malcolm's cabin, and handed it over, telling the other man that he trusted him and he wanted Malcolm to understand why certain things made him as angry as they did. He--gasp--trusted that his friend cared about him more than he would care about the mistakes Neal made during his life and the things he'd done to hurt others. He also realized he would rather make a choice and act to try and make things better than try and maintain the status quo because things could be worse. It was something he'd done more than a few times in the past, so scared of upsetting someone and losing a friendship that he put people in harm's way and lied to everyone trying to make all parties happy. Which, y'know, worked as well as one might expect.

    Between the trust and the boost in confidence and determination, he tipped the edge into graduation, having found his inner Disney Princess put his finger on a moral compass that might be slightly crooked but is important enough to him that he'll stand up to the people he cares about, regardless of potential loss.

    He's going to be staying as a warden, and will offer a degree of kindness, patience, and willingness to listen that he knows was missing in his own life before the Barge. He's pacifistic and loves sapient beings with his whole self, thinking they're about the best most interesting thing in the universe, and he'll try to bring that gentleness and affection in as a soft touch for inmates who might not have had anyone treat them that way before.
    Edited 2023-06-28 02:28 (UTC)

    Warden Deal

    [personal profile] abrightboy - 2023-08-02 23:11 (UTC) - Expand
    just7seconds: (oMvYGQt)

    Graaaaaduate, Good Times, Come On!

    [personal profile] just7seconds 2023-06-30 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Aeacus
    Character Name: Cloud Strife
    Path to Graduation: Cloud showed up as this especially broody, self-centered, depressed guy. He was ready to fixate on a path of vengeance, to at least some extent, and couldn't bring himself to forgive the person he saw as half-responsible for literally all the pain he was feeling. It was easier to focus on that, than it was to focus on how much regret and guilt he felt towards "failing" so many people. Especially after encountering Zack here; Jenova's influence on his mind made it impossible to get a clear picture of what really happened in his past, since he viewed himself and Zack as "one".

    It's largely thanks to Jonathan Sims that Cloud was able to finally get his head "fixed". Finally, he was seeing his past clearly... and he got to simply be Zack's best friend again, which has been the most important addition to his life. So much guilt being felt over Zack could finally be worked through. More than that, it left him open to making more friends - like Azul and Akira, for instance. So many people, in fact, have been given room to show Cloud what it means to be supportive, to be kinder to oneself, to let people in. To let himself be supported (e.g. when he let Shaw and Trevor work with him during the Henry's Monsters incident).

    Naturally, he still has a long way to go before he's past the point of sticking mostly to himself and the closest people (frankly, he may never grow beyond that), but he's now accepting of the part of himself that cares quite a bit about others.

    Last, but far from least, everything with Sephiroth evolved in such an interesting way. He was not sure what to make of the Sephiroth here, at first, but he was reluctantly willing to give him... something of a chance. Eventually, that evolved into him wanting to help his former hero, which led to moments like Cloud lecturing Sephiroth on what it means to fight for your own future. Then, gradually, that became a lot more just a desire to help.

    He spent a while seeing Sephiroth as some sort of obstacle that he needed to overcome. A source of guilt and weakness that he couldn't shake. It wasn't until recently that he realized and accepted that he's his own source of guilt and weakness; he'd been holding himself back, all this time, using Sephiroth as some excuse to cling to that part of himself. Now that he's finally seeing himself (as Yunlan wonderfully put it), he's finally embracing that he just wants both Sephiroth and himself to be able to work together from here on out.

    Obviously, dating doesn't mean he'll be letting him off the hook, whenever he says rude or hurtful things; he'll be even more determined to kick Sephiroth's ass towards graduation, once he's back as a warden.

    And he's already set his mind to not leaving until Sephiroth does. So, as a warden, he'll be... awkward, at first. He'll be wary of messing up, and so sure that he isn't going to be all that helpful to someone else's journey. Once he shakes that, he'll be patient, mostly soft-spoken, and excellent about giving his inmate their own space. He'll do great with someone physically strong, poorly with someone very spoiled and "air headed".
    brokenallthelaws: (heh.  alright.  if that's how it is)

    [personal profile] brokenallthelaws 2023-07-06 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Sceadu
    Character Name: Xigbar
    Path to Graduation: Xigbar's path to redemption has, in large part, come in sort of fits and starts. In fact, when he first arrived on the Barge he was not in the least bit inclined to actually engage with the process to any meaningful degree - as far as he was concerned, the Barge wasn't much more than a slightly strange way to get an honest to goodness vacation. Nor was he particularly interested in talking about anything of great significance to any of his assorted temp wardens, and instead settled into a pattern of just kind of coasting.

    This changed when he was paired with Archer and was immediately confronted with a challenge to, essentially, try to become the kind of person worthy of being the Keyblade Master he used be or give up on reclaiming his Keyblade all together. Faced with the prospect of potentially having to give up on the one thing that had served as his motivation for the many lives he'd lived, he chose the former.

    This was, perhaps, easier said than done. Even in canon, hearts are slow to regrow and Xigbar's tendency to be cagey at best certainly was not any real help. Still, he made some effort to make mention of things, though in drips and drabs (and usually after events had forced his had) - most notably mentioning that he had a Keyblade to exactly one other person (Lark, with whom he was most willing to be open). This was, however, largely the extent of his progress outside of occasional discussions about the nature of fate.

    The return of his heart kicked everything into both sharper focus and higher gear. While he was not - and even now will never be - anything less than a troll, that single action is what prompted him to truly step into something nearer a mentorship roll. This has been most noticeable in his interactions with Kikimora, though they are still touched by his general tendency to mischief and faintly unhelpful overtones, but even outside of that he has come to a point where his first instinct is to help rather than hinder - during the invasion of monster's during Henry's player plot his immediate reaction was to help where he could, and this is not the first time he has offered his assistance in whatever matters require it besides.

    Finally, with a little help from the most recent flood, he has directly acknowledged and reclaimed his past both as a Keyblade wielder and that he is himself, rather than just an empty shell. Where his path should end up taking him is yet unknown, but it is, at long last, one that he has both acknowledged and is willing to walk. He has also even managed to make a few friends along the way, something that would not have been possible previously!

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] anti_altruisms - 2023-07-09 14:29 (UTC) - Expand

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] anti_altruisms - 2023-07-24 11:56 (UTC) - Expand
    brightmooongentlebreeze: (Default)

    [personal profile] brightmooongentlebreeze 2023-08-17 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Siobhan
    Character Name: Xiao Xingchen
    Path to Graduation: Xiao Xingchen arrived in complete despair, actively self-destructive, and deeply resentful of the barge for interfering with the death and penance he had planned. Initially, he was scared of everything, a determined recluse, and dead set on simply disappearing. This was if anything worsened by his time on a scarier version of the barge, and then by his few months of disappearance.

    The first step for him was to be dragged out of utter despair. This process was started by friendly interest taken in him by a handful of people willing to push past his grim facade, but stalled for a while until, paradoxically enough, the worst possible thing happened. Xiao Xingchen lived under the cloud of his own downfall every moment, being manipulated, rejected, and easily fooled so he could be turned into nothing but a force for destruction. When Xue Yang, the principle architect of that downfall, turned up, he had no choice but to face that head on. Having a concrete, present villain was an immeasurable help. He could face the worst time in his life with Xue Yang there to absorb his fitful, often ineffective attempts to put the worst behind him.

    Xiao Xingchen progressed erratically, resulting in some... uncomfortable acting out. He discovered self expression, his own emotions, and general freedom from self-inflicted ideals of perfection like a middle schooler working out what rules they can get away with breaking. There was some yelling. Baskets were thrown at heads. But he crawled out of that period of upset understanding more about what was and what wasn't his fault, that he was allowed to be something other than a martyr and a victim, and that sometimes, yeah, you have to yell about things.

    Once he was free from self-inflicted penance, Xiao Xingchen made pretty quick progress with major goals. He found a purpose that has meaning for him and a chance to make up for the damage he did. He believes that he can actually exist in that future. He's learned to quiet if not strange the Big Damn Hero impulse and ask for help when he needs it. He's not likely to give away any more of his organs out of misguided principle.

    Xiao Xingchen still thinks the barge sucks and deeply resents the system, especially for forcing him to spend time around Xue Yang and admit the possibility of redemption for the worst person in the world. While he will be lingering for at least a while (his SO still has an inmate to graduate), he has no intention of becoming a warden long-term.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] worthallthis - 2023-08-20 22:43 (UTC) - Expand
    pitofguilt: (Default)

    [personal profile] pitofguilt 2023-08-21 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Alexis
    Character Name: Natalie Scatorccio
    Path to Graduation:

    Regret was never a problem for Natalie, but self-hatred was, and from there sprang many of the things that made her an inmate. She felt what she did and what she allowed to happen were unforgivable, so she punished herself and wasn't any kinder to her teammates, or to the rest of the world. On the Barge, not even a month after being permanently paired with John Doe, she stole Arthur's gun and lied to Misty in an effort to push John, Arthur, and even Misty away, believing herself to be poisonous to everyone around her, and ready to be alone until her final death. John, however, didn't request to be unpaired from her, and that one choice made all the difference. Part of her punishment was that substances had no effect on her, which forced her to stop running away, face her problems, and admit that she was tired of failing at improving her life. Just a break, a little time to wallow, and she started to climb her way out of the pit.

    The work was tough. It involved unlearning her self-hatred and beginning to face the things that made her want to run and hide. Little by little, she started to accept that punishing herself didn't undo the past or make a better present or future, that she could love people without hurting them, and that failure and mistakes weren't the end of whatever good thing they happened around. The idea that she both deserved and wanted a better life became less abstract and more real. Possibility became invigorating rather than terrifying. John's constant support was new and liberating, something she'd never had before. He was there for her where no other authority figure in her life had bothered. He called her out, sure, but never belittled or shamed her. Being treated with genuine care and compassion allowed her to show herself the same kindness, and to be open to her own emotions.

    She got clean, started working out again, and fell in love in a relatively short time, because so many of her issues were tied to her deep self-hatred. Once that was conquered, the rest could flow the way it might have if life hadn't dealt her such a difficult hand. It culminated in a conversation with John during the fourth wall flood, in which she weighed being honest with Misty against the possibility of it having manipulative undertones, faced possible complications and talked through ideas to get through them, and didn't stop herself from wanting good things for herself. She got out of her own way, communicated, and actively worked toward positive outcomes.

    A year ago, she was wishing she'd never been brought to the Barge. Now, she's staying on as a warden in order to earn herself a good life back home. I'm sure there's an anime theme song for that. Maybe "Kiseki no Umi" sung by Maaya Sakamoto.

    Anyway. As a warden, she'll fight god himself for her inmate while giving them space to be themself. She won't coddle them, but she'll never abandon them. Natalie doesn't do "tough love" so much as "gruff love". Her support will be constant. The things she's seen and done in life mean she's not easily scared off and is ready to stand with someone through the storm.

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    [personal profile] greatoldjohn - 2023-08-24 01:44 (UTC) - Expand
    weboftime: (Default)

    [personal profile] weboftime 2023-08-22 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Kota
    Character Name: Henry
    Path to Graduation: Henry started out rocky. He was given his full powers on the Brig almost as soon as he arrived and he went wild with them. He was angry to be brought back aboard and caused a scene at dinner. His pairing with Trixie didn’t go well, but she managed to get him under some sort of control, limiting his powers and enforcing mandatory socialization. She began to treat him like a person, rather than a monster, bringing him sweets and treats and things that he was never able to have after the age of 12. She showed him a bit of a normal life, and gave him something to look forward to. He learned new skills along the way, like how to make drinks and act like a more or less “normal” 30 year old person. He was in Billy’s head and tormented him a while, but he was starting to learn about forming attachments and what that meant. When Billy left, he found that he was actually very sad about it.

    He made some actual friends later. He used his powers to help one of those friends, which was a new thing for him. But it wasn’t until after his monster mash that his progress accelerated. He hurt people, people that he actually cared about - Steve. Then Steve and Eddie left, and Henry was devastated. But instead of getting angry about it, he let himself be sad. He realized that he was the reason that Eddie died and he basically just hurt his own feelings. Florian’s retaliation against him forced him to reach out for help and he was surprised when people answered. The breach gave him brothers and he realized that he could care for them, too, even if they were still strangers. He began to apologize in earnest to everyone, regardless of what they could do for him. Additionally, Trixie gave him his powers back in full and he was able to talk with Emet Selch and Jon about how keeping those powers would affect him and how he had to work every day in making the right choice. And he’s been tempted but has not acted on those temptations at all to harm another person. He deeply regrets harming the Barge and her inhabitants and he's realized that it wasn't just breach feelings that made him feel that way.

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    [personal profile] wishiwasatree - 2023-08-26 00:46 (UTC) - Expand
    fork_off: (Default)

    Thomas Blanky

    [personal profile] fork_off 2023-08-25 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Lydia
    Character Name: Thomas Blanky
    Path to Graduation: Thomas Blanky's route to graduation is different from most. He arrived as a warden and then got demoted. The way he got demoted, killing people while seemingly permanently stuck in the Flotilla, meant that he felt he deserved to be an inmate, possibly for a long while. That whole episode reminded him that he had darkness inside him and he felt it had overcome his goodness. He had, he felt, failed himself and everyone dear to him. His guilt was strong, even to the point of overdoing it.
    He had to overcome his doubt to graduate. Reassurances from his friends helped, but he had to realize that he had not failed permanently, by himself. It took him a long time to realize he was worthy of graduation, but getting a permanent warden helped a lot. Norton helped further, especially with the simulation of the Flotilla, that helped him get closure. It took a long time, but he managed to pull himself together.
    He can offer a lot to an inmate. He's seen both sides of the warden/inmate relationship and he knows how it feels to want to be better and be not sure how. He can offer a sympathetic ear when it's needed and he knows enough to offer solutions that work for a particular inmate, not just general ideas. He's also a generally optimistic, supportive person, who enjoys helping others.
    Edited 2023-08-25 15:25 (UTC)

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] pharadyne - 2023-08-27 02:21 (UTC) - Expand
    skitter: (Face - Danger Zone)

    [personal profile] skitter 2023-09-12 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Hats
    Character Name: Taylor
    Path to Graduation:

    Taylor had to re-tread some of the most important parts of her original path to graduation. The part she backslide hardest on was her sense that because she was capable of great power, she had the obligation to use it with full force for the greater good. It was a difficult thing to come at directly aboard the Barge, because she has been (and still is) afraid to access that power again without ultimate need. But talking to Rags during the Fourth Wall event, learning that the war she was planning to go help him fight was taken arbitrarily out of her hands, and facing that she'd wanted to go and fight it for the fight's sake, not just for her friend, made her face the temptation of that power, and realize it still had hold of her.

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    weedeating: (ah yes. felix is being a bitch again)

    [personal profile] weedeating 2023-09-15 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: Kates
    Character Name: Dimitri Blaiddyd
    Path to Graduation: The things that helped kickstart Dimitri's change were people who just hung around him despite the fact that he was a grumpy bastard. Trevor and Sheehan were instrumental in this, helping push Dimitri out of his reclusive, grumpy shell by meeting him where he was and not demanding everything change overnight (Trevor) or tricking Dimitri into therapy and actually talking about some of his feelings (Sheehan). Whether intentionally or unintentionally, they helped relegate Dimitri's anger, pushing him more towards a 'let's dish out appropriate punishments' sort of action, instead of 'MURDER EVERYONE WHERE THEY STAND.'

    But the thing that pushed everything into high gear was Envy blowing a hole in the ship + the fantasy tourist breach. There were moments in both of those where Dimitri realized that he had a choice to continue the cycle of violence, that if he wanted to, he could get revenge on Envy for hurting his friends or on Jedao for killing his fantasy dad. But he just...didn't. Instead, he decided that this cycle of violence wasn't worth it. And if he was involved, he could end it on his own terms.

    His final step came when he admitted that even though he's scared, even though he's still worried that he won't be good enough, he isn't going to stay on the ship as a warden. Instead, he's going back home to lead his people and put an end to their current war.

    (no subject)

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    ragsnbone: (Default)

    [personal profile] ragsnbone 2023-09-17 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
    Player Name: alec
    Character Name: Wu Xie
    Path to Graduation:
    Honestly for an inmate, Wu Xie is the least likely one to actually wish for trouble on anyone who hasn't ticked him off. He still is for a majority of things caught up in the headspace of wanting to cause the ultimate harm to anyone that picks on his people, but he also has come around to realizing that he isn't alone in his endeavor and needs to actually reach out and ask others for help. He has realized he needs to just accept his humanity and needing to sacrifice himself for the better of everyone else, and is going to actually ask others for their help. It especially had hit home during his last talk on the network about home; he never really felt he had one given his family's dynamics but now he realized what that was, and also realized that he matters to others.

    As for staying on as a Warden, well, he does have one very big wish, and he also doesn't want to leave Xiaoge like so many others have done to him before. What he can offer is a calming presence, a friendly smile, and someone who doesn't judge criminals for their crimes because he isn't the cleanest of person and he knows that trying times don't often means a person is evil. And even if they are, well, that's still nothing he will judge on. So long as they don't try to kill him - not that that matters. So many people he knows has tried to kill him and after all that, he still befriends them.

    (no subject)

    [personal profile] droppinnoeaves - 2023-10-03 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

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