Attention: This is the Admiral Speaking

[bargemods]

The following Wardens and Inmates have been paired:

Arkin O'Brien // themissingpiece → Jerry Dandrige // 400yearsofsurvival
Chris D'Amico // mistconduct → Loki Laufeyson // tricksandmischief
Scott McCall // semifreakingnormal → Clementine Chasseur // visetvires

Wardens should expect a file to be delivered to their cabins shortly. Please familiarize yourselves with the information therein and introduce yourself to your new Inmate as soon as possible.

Comments

[Voice]

[mistconduct]

oh thank christ I didn't get the vampire.

Wait.



Wait, shit.

[Voice]

[punched_hitler]

Uh.

If you need any tips.

Or warnings.

[Sigh.]

[Voice]

[mistconduct]

I need a goddamn sedative.

Re: [Voice]

[punched_hitler]

You're still gonna have to wake up sometime.

Unless it's for him.

[Voice]

[400yearsofsurvival]

Good luck with your assignment, guy.

[Voice]

[mistconduct]

Fuck you, Jerry. Fuck you so hard.

[Voice]

[400yearsofsurvival]

If he proves too much for you, we could always trade.

[americasdirtiest]

So what the fuck does this mean?

[mistconduct]

I....don't know. I guess if you still want me, I'll warden you until the end of the month? You're way easier than fucking Loki of all people.

[americasdirtiest]

I don't need a fucking babysitter, bitch. Just get me into the damn gun range and we're fine.

[semifreakingnormal]

No way.

[No way is this happening. No way. No way.]

Private

[voluntaryapnea]

Shit.

Private

[semifreakingnormal]

She's gonna remember the arena.

Private

[voluntaryapnea]

Maybe. [He's silent for a second.]

Over half the people on this ship will vouch for the kind of guy you are, Scott.

You can do this.

[themissingpiece]

Fuck.

[punched_hitler]

If you want a hand with him, there's probably a line by now.

[themissingpiece]

I might need it. I'm gonna read up on his file and see what I gotta work with.

...glad I picked up some holy water back at port.

[punched_hitler]

Well, just ask. If you need it with him - or with someone who's pissed off at him. There's kind of a line for that, too.

Guess you must have pretty good foresight.

Private

[queen_cordelia]

Do you have much experience with vampires?

Private

[themissingpiece]

Some. My last inmate was one. She was a different type, I think. Had this humanity on/off switch.

Private

[queen_cordelia]

Oh. That's -- not the kind of vampire I'm familiar with unless by on/off switch you mean she lost her soul.

[video]

[routemistress]

[No words.

Iris just appears on the video screen, looking obscenely cheerful. She has a large bowl of popcorn in her lap, which she's eating somewhat theatrically.

That's all.]

[video]

[mistconduct]

Trade?

Trade me, Iris. Trade. I want to trade. Who do you have, again? Fuck it, doesn't matter.

[video]

[routemistress]

She's a goddess that 'ates men. I didn't think she 'ad a sense of humour at first, but it's just subtle, like.

And no, I'm keeping Ceres. You and Loki'll be fine, sweetheart. I'll 'elp. And by 'elp I might mean enjoy watching you run each other ragged.

[video]

[mistconduct]

Well, I have a god that hates everybody. They're not that different.

Look, I'll throw in Bowie, Lassie, my stereo, all my comics, and Cassel's hand in marriage.