TLV - Admiral Requests

[bargemods]

ADMIRAL REQUESTS
New Admiral Request Page Found Here

Post your requests to the Admiral below (and also a note if you would specifically like that request to be rejected), and we will get to them in a timely manner. All Admiral requests (with the exception of Inmate resurrections) must go through this post, and their approval cannot be handwaved. Additionally, requests will only be granted to Wardens.

Unless otherwise specifically noted, all threads on this post are considered to be Private.

Though the Barge does not speak in any traditional way and is not reachable by communicator, it is sentient, and characters occasionally reach out to it via tapping on walls in Morse Code, spelling out messages in alphabet-letter fridge magnets, and other creative methods; if your character decides to try this, those messages may be dropped here as well!

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Comments

[swiveleyed]

Admiral, I can't take it any longer! Give me my TARDIS back!

[chaotica]

For an upcoming trip to Vulcan, I request that T'pol be permitted to come with us.

This is not idle, Admiral, and it is not a vacation. T'pol has been systematically deprived of her native culture for her entire life, and here she is imprisoned on a very close vessel with dozens of the race that deprived her. I am a poor substitute for an actual Vulcan telling her of her own heritage, and besides, she doesn't like me. I believe it would be of great benefit to allow her to interact with her own kind and experience the history and culture that was in her universe practically wiped off the map - not only because it will be a balm to her, but because it will help open her eyes to all of the possibilities that her future contains. There is no better motivation for graduation.

Two days; one day; six hours, Admiral. Please. I expect that you will deny this, but if I did not believe this was crucial, perhaps necessary, I would not be asking.

[150th]

May I have a replacement heater for my aquarium, and the materials to build a better, more secure cabin door?

["Materials" here listed, and include oddly-shaped metal pieces (exact dimensions included) and hundreds of tiny ball-bearings.]

[sauntervaguelydownwards]

Separate Arthas and Ner'zhul. I want him out. Keep him around in some unrelated form if you want, but I want my inmate and not this other one.

[routemistress]

[Right after Vic and the Doctor's dog rescue.]

'Ey Admiral love, it's me again. Vic's cabin - d'you remember 'ow we 'ad it decorated when 'e was 'ere the first time? Big old rustic hunting lodge affair with inbuilt scratching posts? Can you change it back to that, please?

[americasdirtiest]

Okay, I'm back, let's not fuck around. I want Shiro or Maximoff.

[swiveleyed]

Hello Admiral! Everything shipshape and Bristol fashion, I presume? Deck freshly swabbed, maties all aye-ayed, that sort of thing?

Please may I have a landing room for the TARDIS built into a wall in my bedroom? There's only just about enough room in there for her and she gets claustrophobic, you know she has these strange ideas about her size - I do tell her she's perfectly slim in the third dimension, but she never seems to believe me. Right now she only wants to land in my bathroom and then I can't get to the toilet. I'm sure you can see the problem.

[whatthefoxsay]

Hi Admiral,

Could you please allow MewTwo access to the materials and equipment necessary to pursue its research? Any computers it needs can have limited access solely to the data it needs and be kept off any kind of broader communications system.

[formerself]

Hello, sir.

Um - I lost something during port. A necklace. It looks like this:

[There follows an approximate sketch of his father's Kingsman medal as seen in his icon.]

I know I gave it away, I chose to, and if it's gone forever then - fine, nothing I can do about it now. But if there's any way I can get it back, I. I'd be really grateful.

[text, right after port]

[routemistress]

WHAT DOYUO MEAN LETTING ARTHAS FUCK ME ABOUT LIKE HIS

UNACCEPTABLE

FUCK THIS

VIC: TORTOISE. DURATION BOYD'S DETAHTOLL

BULD COMMS INTO HIS SHELL I CAN'S FKNG PICK ANYTHING UP

MAKE MY COMMIMMAT INCORPOREAL CAN'T TOUCH

VIC: FULL POWER RESTORE PLS

[Video.]

[ataashihunter]

[A very exhausting looking Bull is sitting in his cabin with a big mug of something that is steaming.]

Oh.. So Hi.

Any chance Todd can have his powers back? He had them in the port and as far as I can tell, they are fairly harmless and he seems more comfortable with them.

Oh and another shipment of cocoa from Koth-Aar for me if you don't mind.

Thanks.

[tucky]

can i make requests again

[swiveleyed]

Admiral, please incorporate a feature onto the communicators that monitors one's level of artron energy and blood alcohol and prevents making text posts when they are over a certain threshhold.

Also, give Dark all of his powers back. Why not?

[swiveleyed]

Hello, Admiral, it's me again.

Please would you give Dark a silly little squeaky mouse voice until I think of something better? Which won't take long, so let's say forty-eight hours.

[routemistress]

'Ey Admiral, only me. We'll be needing a double set of new, unused, dishes and cookware for the kitchens, please. And a laminated infographic thinger with the kosher rules on it to go on the wall for the kitchen staff.

Not to pick nits, lovey, but you might've done that when you brought the new bloke aboard. I presume you know these things about people?

[darknessb4me]

An anbaric guillotine.

And work on that cabin change we requested last time, will you?

[swiveleyed]

[The Doctor, attempting to lean rakishly on his TARDIS console, is slurring his words slightly, and the unders of his white shirtsleeves are ringed with sweat. Has he been drinking? There's certainly a few bottles standing on top of the controls...]

Adrimal, Admiral, listen, listen!... while I was out travelling I came up with a list! Of suggestions that might make the Barge lots more fun for everyone involved. Ahem [he actually says 'ahem'...]-

Item One: Talking alien cabbages as inmates. After all, there is access to every imaginable alternate reality here, so whyever not? I would love to meet one.
Item Two: Less violence, generally speaking. I'm not comfortable with violence on a family barge. The way I see it, the Barge should reward non-violence. It should be for heroes, you know? Great heroes. So maybe everyone should be encouraged to crack jokes and play tricks on people instead of fighting them. Or fall over more frequently, whichever is most amusing.
Item Three: I could have a loveable little human daemon that would follow me around on all fours, speaking in a tinny little voice and saying things like 'affirmative' and 'negative'.
Item Four: Radical suggestion but... but, but, but but butbutbut! How about we do away with inmates entirely? I think Wardens could carry the Barge on their own and there'd be more attention to go around.
Item Five: Instead of waking up in the cabins, how about the Inmates have a red carpet to walk down, with members of the press - they could be other inmates - taking photographs and singing to them and making them feel like stars. Then it leads to a pit and they drop through it and then they're in their cabins. Think about it.
Item Six: I don't like other Barge members who are more intelligent than me, so you can get rid of any of those. ...Not that I think there is any, you understand... but if there was anything, you would, wouldn't you? I am, after all, the star.
Item Six: I want another hat.

Backdated a little

[formerself]

Please give Alec his abilities back.

Thank you.

[formerself]

[yes him again 8|]

Hello, sir.

I'd like to request that Nina get her proper clothes back. And makeup, anything like that she'd normally use.

I know she's not my inmate, but it could be more than a month before she even gets a temp to ask for her.

[And the Barge is already shitty and dehumanizing enough without being able to wear your own clothes like everyone else can 8(]

[swiveleyed]

So all these things keep happening, Admiral, and I'm powerless to do anything about them. I can't find the coordinates of the Carnation Resort, I can't damage anything or break anything while I'm there, and there's no-one there to truly negotiate, just a whole load of anonymous nothings! I can't take Tiffany to see her friend, no matter how much I understand or whatever I do!

Admit it! You've fixed reality in such a way that all I can do is walk around reacting to things and talking about my feelings, so there's no risk of any chaos ruining any of your fun!

[americasdirtiest]

'ey -- Alfie Solomons doesn't have a warden yet to do this shit for him yet, so: can he get some old-timey crossword puzzles and--

[He consults his communicator.]

--four gallons of molasses, eight pounds of brown sugar? And like some kind of copper barrel.

[punched_hitler]

I don't suppose you're able to let someone keep their daemon around, are you?

[Because if you are he has a request, sir.]

this is backdated, pretend i'm on top of my shit

[patheticvillain]

Hey. Uh. Question. Can you get back a memory was lost it the latest shitfuck port? It's kind of a huge deal. If you can - it's Beyond's, his memory of his mom reading him Sonnets of the Portuguese. Shit, from the Portuguese. Not of. And all other sonnet-related memories, I guess.

So. Thanks if you can.

. . . I'm gonna be pissed if you can't, though.

[tucky]

Why do we have an Admiral at all?

[swiveleyed]

Admiral, I'm sorry to trouble you with such a trivial request but while intervening in the recent altercation I managed to get rather a lot of Tommy's brain all down the front of my favourite frock coat and my Saturday dinner waistcoat. And you can't machine wash velvet, that's madness. Do you offer any dry cleaning facilities?