TLV - Admiral Requests

[bargemods]

ADMIRAL REQUESTS
New Admiral Request Page Found Here

Post your requests to the Admiral below (and also a note if you would specifically like that request to be rejected), and we will get to them in a timely manner. All Admiral requests (with the exception of Inmate resurrections) must go through this post, and their approval cannot be handwaved. Additionally, requests will only be granted to Wardens.

Unless otherwise specifically noted, all threads on this post are considered to be Private.

Though the Barge does not speak in any traditional way and is not reachable by communicator, it is sentient, and characters occasionally reach out to it via tapping on walls in Morse Code, spelling out messages in alphabet-letter fridge magnets, and other creative methods; if your character decides to try this, those messages may be dropped here as well!

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Comments

[14thcommander]

Admiral, is it possible to have the equivalent of an inmate's file on myself given to me?

[bargemods]

Yes, that's doable.

Shall I?

[shamebat]

[Nadja. Is. Pissed.

Not at Anderson, mind. At the Admiral for boxing her into a corner like this]

So we are inviting all manner of priests now, are we, Admiral? Well, I hope you know I have died once already by some little girl claiming to be some angel or whatever, and it is very difficult to be the only vampire warden among so many other things that can murder me.

How do you expect me to defend myself against these enemies? It is like inviting a cat to take charge of enormous dogs but then trying to declaw her!

[bargemods]

Like any warden, if you find yourself outmatched by an inmate, I expect you to call on one of your colleagues.

[shadowsran]

Pagan Min has mentioned a pen? Gold Montblanc, [whatever that means, ugh, rich people] with a picture in the cap. I was wondering if you could pass those along to me?

[To inspect. Picture's going right onward, but she won't make any promises about pens.]

[bargemods]

Done. Use them wisely, Ms Day.

[salmonsnacks]

Please can Laszlo have his powers back except the hypnotism for this month, please?

...an' I would like a blaster for myself thank you.

[bargemods]

Good idea. Granted.

[beejfu]

Yo, Big Guy.

Can I get my boy Four-Loki his powers back for the month?

[bargemods]

Granted, and good luck to you both.

[salmonsnacks]

Me again, Admiral sir!

Could Connor have a puppy, please? A...Saint Bernard. An' the stuff he needs ta look after it.

I got a whole buncha research on how animals help prisoners with developin' social skills an' gettin' ta be better people an' stuff.

I promise ta look after it if it don't work out with Connor.

[bargemods]

Oh very well. Granted.

See that it's well trained, please.

[beejfu]

[From here]

Hey, big guy - can I get my powers over light back? Real quick, sorry, apparently SOMEBODY doesn't have a lighting crew for this shindig.

[bargemods]

Not how humans work, Mr. Juice. But I can provide for the occasion.

[The necessary lighting equipment will turn up, with a soft pop.]

[biocomposer]

I have a query to pass on from an inmate.

What defines the moment of graduation, and - on this Barge, with the Admiral we have - is it at all possible for those criteria to be adjusted?

[bargemods]

The 'moment' of graduation is not strictly defined. To the extent that any one inmate always has multiple possible paths to graduation, there are no criteria in the sense this inmate seems to be imagining them, as entirely un-adjusted up to now.

To the extent that graduation very broadly depends on an inmate being capable of living a different life with their second chance than they did with their first, that's not negotiable, no.

[ninefox]

[After this.]

Hey, Admiral! I'm working really hard trying to do the redemption thing. And I bought you a hat that time. That should earn me points. Brownie points. Give me a brownie.

[hauntedcalamari]

Hey, boss, I think we need, say, several dozen roughly egg-shaped baby backpacks over here. They have a name, I forget it. You know. Ease of baby-strapping, appropriately balanced and padded.

...Also, can my room be the Cinderella's Castle Suite from Disneyworld?

[bargemods]

Granted, to both.

[loveisall]

Admiral, might I have a small container of boiled goat fat, lily root, and sandalwood extract?

[bargemods]

One small container of each, or one small container of all of the above- and if so in what ratios?

backdated to before the eggs event

[vampere]

Angel would like to have how her cabin looks changed. She didn't mention a preference on what to so... probably something a hotel room?

Re: backdated to before the eggs event

[bargemods]

Granted.

[Hotel room neutral it is.]

[wildguardian]

Hello there, Admiral! I'm passing along a request for an alien stun beam weapon from Norton Folgate.

I believe he described it as... pistol sized, capable of firing several shots before it has to be recharged, with a range of at least thirty meters and no setting more harmful than stun?

[This request is slightly disingenuous: he's not convinced the alien stun beam weapon that meets all Norton's requirements actually exists, but if it does he likes that idea much better than he does the idea of bargaining for Norton to stay a productively double-crossing member of inmate society with an actual, lethal gun.]

[bargemods]

For a weapon request, I'd need to hear from Mr Kaspbrak, please.

[fork_off]

Mr. Laszlo Cravensworth would like the powers he received last month again this month.

[bargemods]

Permanently, or for another period of one month?

[shadowsran]

If you could, whenever it's convenient, I'd like to get a room added onto my cabin? Under it, door can just be part of the floor, don't need any handles.

Doesn't need to be huge, doesn't need anything in it.

And, uh, Devil's Snare? Strictly for me, not gonna end up in the greenhouse for anyone to get caught on.

[bargemods]

Granted. Take good care with it, Ms Day.

[beejfu]

Hey Admiral!

My boy Anderson. Can he get his powers back only while playing volleyball? He won’t come play with us otherwise and I need a doubles partner.

Please please please!

[bargemods]

For a power-return request, I'd need to hear from Mr Kaspbrak, please.

[backdated a few days to the end of his month as Pagan's warden!]

[wildguardian]

I'm putting in a request for Pagan Min's gold pen, with the picture in it, please.

[bargemods]

Granted. Best of luck with it.

[salmonsnacks]

Hello, Mista Admiral sir.

...If people get hurt - killed, I mean, in ports. People who ain't passengers here. Is there anythin' you can do for them? I mean, even if it's at least sendin' them ta some other Barge?

[bargemods]

Rybka, ports are as real as your own worlds, and unlike the barge, not under my direct jurisdiction.

Which is to say, yes, but not easily, nor for the asking. Dare I ask what brought this on?

[hauntedcalamari]

Hey, Pagan Min needs...

[Audible pause while Ben double checks.]

To make a shrine, specifically incense--didn't specify scent, but probably not patchouli--matches, low table, and hanging bells.

[bargemods]

In his cabin, or in the chapel space?

[loveisall]

I need you to remove the powers of Dancy's four-faced angel before it rips your ship apart and god knows what else.

Perhaps it should be shorter, too.

[bargemods]

Pardon me?

[Two seconds for investigation.]

Granted, granted, granted!

[14thcommander]

Admiral. I'd like to request Bill's shapeshifting abilities restored to him to a limited degree - free range of expression up to seventy kilograms.

I'd also like to modify his room, if possible. Can you leave his current space alone, but in a separate room at the back stick a hotspring in? It would be really great if it could be cave walls, maybe crusted in bioluminescent fungus, and go to about four hundred Celsius at the bottom of the spring if he wants to sink down there.

[bargemods]

Granted. Enjoy.

[therushingsky]

So I was just wondering, why don't inmates get personal bathrooms? Is there a health and safety thing going on there or is it just basic denial of dignity?

[bargemods]

[A tired, long-suffering sigh.]

Mr. Strongfork.

Is this really the best use of your time?

backdated to early October

[vampere]

Norton would like some personal effects. More modern toiletry supplies - good shampoo and skincare products, specifically - as well as vaseline, chocolate, toffee and good alcohol. He also gave a list of clothing requests [here follows a reproduction of said list, which is mostly various high quality requests in specific colors] and a "Sorvix blaster" whatever that is.

I'd like to request the blaster be kept to some kind of stun setting if it's that kind of weapon? But everything else seems reasonable enough.

[bargemods]

Granted.

[Although this takes a moment, and things do pop up sort of in bits and pieces, and sometimes in entirely unlikely places around Norton's cabin.]

backdated to late October

[anti_altruisms]

Good evening, Admiral.

It is my understanding that there is a specific weapon - a Keyblade - that belongs to my Inmate.

Could you please have it delivered to my cabin? I’d like to let him practice with it, with the caveat that I will be able to take it back from him at any time and that he will be unable to open already locked areas with it. Or open portals, anything that would cause undue harm to the ship.

Re: backdated to late October

[bargemods]

Granted. Carry on.

On Thanksgiving

[dog_eat_dog]

[ Tess is very pleasantly drunk and having a great time, thank you very much! ]

Put a Mountain Dew fountain in Tiffany’s room! It will make her happy. No Code Red.

Re: On Thanksgiving

[bargemods]

Don't get any ideas about this being a regular thing.

[There is, however, now a small desktop meditation fountain in Tiffany's quarters, featuring a wide-mouthed ceramic frog, gurgling Mountain Dew Baja Blast instead of water.]